Published a new essay over at Human Parts. Check it out here and I’ll place the first few paragraphs below:
You know those moments, where you want to love, when you tell them you can’t right now, their response in sobs the kind of soft sobs that should rock you awake but you can’t sleep since you’re watching them all bundled in your blanket over there on the couch that your friend loaned you, coffee table too, she’s crying, yes, and dressed like a cheap middle school version of a Greek play?
We say to each other «We are so bad at this, us, our communication is so bad.»
We don’t know if we can touch each other, if the possibility of not touching each other starts now or now or now then wondering if we can touch each other now. We touch. It is strange to touch.
This is an essay I wrote & read for Chalet’s release show (facebook page is right here—Tuscon is a beautiful album) here in Minneapolis. It was fun to write something to be heard. It continues after the jump:
Until yesterday I thought my life could be different, I was in love, etc.
-Roberto Bolaño, Antwerp
The campus steeple Golgotha on the small town skyline. Latin sayings on stone walls as pronounced as letters beneath shopping cart handles.
There are women with words here too, words on asses in yoga pants and it’s a forgiving October to be warm and still kind to the skin but I do not look at these girls since I am only here for her.
She’s nineteen and I’m not. I’m twenty-four and pretending to be an adult and rent a car with money I think I have (it’s all about the thinking isn’t it?) and I graduated what seems like years ago (bitter and not promised certain things, whatever) and my girlfriend is so college, thinking that holding up a sign will conquer the world, that this vaguely passionate act could feed people, a fleeting belief that an Environmental Science degree would net her that eponymous career. She still relates classes to jobs. She’s in the phase where she says I’m a hippie yet showers everyday and shaves nearly everything inherited from womanhood.
It’s all so endearing, the last time I think I’m in love.
Published ‘The Season of Leaking Fear’ to Thought Catalog (link) back in early March, forgot to post it here. Enjoy.
It’s been a while…but I have an eBook out with Thought Catalog called “Bonfires.” You can view it here. If you would like to read an excerpt, it’s directly on Thought Catalog. Many thanks to them for publishing it. If you would like, please leave some feedback on Amazon, Apple or Nook.
& as always, thanks for reading. Without my readers this wouldn’t have been possible.